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Scenes We'd Like To See: Series 17, Episode 6
The following is a list of Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions for the sixth episode of the seventeenth series. Key NK- Nish Kumar SR- Suzi Ruffell EB- Ed Byrne RJ- Rhys James HD- Hugh Dennis AB- Angela Barnes Topics Unlikely Things To Write To TV Channels SR: Dear Channel 4, do you still work with that woman who inspects poo? If so, please forward this package to her. HD: Dear Dave +1: Would the pair of you like to come to my wedding? EB: Dear ITV2, I just watched an episode of Love Island and now I think my television has chlamydia. RJ: Dear the news, I don't know how many times I will write this to you, but next time when you do the weather, will you please say "Spoiler Alert"? NK: Dear The BBC, can you please get some right wing comedians on Mock The Week? 'Cause currently, they're all in Cabinet and they're making a real fucking mess. SR: Dear Good Morning Britain, just writing to say what a brilliant job Piers Morgan's doing. HD: Dear Alibi TV: Would you please tell the police I was watching you last week? AB: Dear ITV3, why don't you just bite the bullet and call yourself "ITV Poirot"? EB: Dear BBC: It's all sex and violence these days, so I've got very little time for watching the television. AB: Dear Channel 5, I recently very much enjoyed your programme called My Penis Is So Big It Is Killing Me. Please could you pass on his phone number before I'm too late? NK: Dear Channel 5, are you still there? EB: Dear History Channel, well done on constantly showing Storage Wars. We were all fed up learning about Cleopatra and Hitler, we all wanted to watch bellends rummage through a locker of second-hand shite! HD: Dear History Channel: My wife's getting suspicious, how do I delete ya? RJ: Dear BBC, I saw a man flossing on one of your panel shows and now I want to kill myself. Unlikely Things To Hear On A Travel Documentary NK: Hello, I'm not Romesh Ramganathan. Please stop coming up to me in the street. Thank you. HD: Madagascar was wonderful and very surprising. The animals were real and none of them talked. AB: It's amazing what you can pick up in this market in Vietnam. For instance, I've got herpes! RJ: After a long journey, I'm here in Chad. Great to experience an authentic American frat party. SR: Welcome to the brand new travel show about younger guys who want to date older women: A Place In The Sun While Banging Your Mum. EB: New York, the Big Apple, the city that never sleeps. How I wish I was there instead of this shithole. AB: This is a very volatile geyser, so do remember that before you interview Danny Dyer about Brexit. HD: It has been a very harrowing two weeks but finally, the Thameslink has got me to Gatwick Airport. NK: I'm here in India, where we'll be inspecting some of the country's famous curry trees. SR: Your wife's left, your kids have gone, all your mates have sided with her, and she's even taken the dog. Welcome to Lonely Planet. RJ: I'm here on safari in Africa and next to me is a lynx and... (sniffs) Yep, smells exactly like a 15-year old virgin. EB: Paris is known as the City of Love, and it's easy to see why: It is wall-to-wall fanny. AB: The Amazon Basin: Delivered last Friday, already leaking. Two stars. RJ: This really is a once in a lifetime trip. I'm here at Dignitas. HD: Siberia, one of the harshest terrains on Earth and surprisingly easy to get to. Just call Vladimir Putin a tosser. RJ: And the locals let me swim with dolphins, which was their way of telling me I'm terminally ill. EB: (acting stoned) The coffee shops of Amsterdam... (stares off until Dara presses buzzer) WHAT WAS THAT?! Category:Scenes We'd Like To See